Industry Announcements: Proximus Bertschulder Ltd. |
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Industry Announcements: Proximus Bertschulder Ltd. |
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Latest update from
PROXIMUS BERTSCHULDER LTD.
New Product Offering
After untold decades of underwater hibernation and growth, a giant turtle named "Historymaker" recently emerged from New York State's Croton Reservoir, which is only a few miles north of New York City.
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LEMSAT High Altitude Image courtesy of |
Historymaker headed due south toward the city, and there is no telling how much havoc he could have wreaked had he reached the metropolis.
By a fortuitous streak of luck, the suburb of Bronxville, which lay directly in the turtle's path, was one of several test sites for a PROXIMUS BERTSCHULDER LTD unannounced product called "Madam Miriam's Turtle Repellent".
Fast-reacting Bronxville city officials spread a two-foot wide band of Madam Miriam's Turtle Repellent completely around the city limits (using the patented PROXIMUS BERTSCHULDER LTD semi-automatic turtle repellent spreader).
Upon reaching Bronxville, not only did Historymaker stop his advance, but he also withdrew completely into his shell and lay there, in the parking lot of a shopping mall, inert.
A US government convoy was dispatched apace, and Historymaker was placed in a huge, covered van which quickly and efficiently whisked him off to a classified government proving ground for beasties (the location of this facility is unknown to PROXIMUS BERTSCHULDER LTD).
PROXIMUS BERTSCHULDER LTD is happy to announce that Madam Miriam's Turtle Repellent will soon be available for purchase at garden shops and feed stores all over the USA.
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