Industry Announcements: Proximus Bertschulder Ltd.

Address inquiries to Proximus Bertschulder

Proximus Bertschulder Ltd.

12 May 1999

Coming Soon from PROXIMUS BERTSCHULDER LTD.

The Peter Pan-oramic Adventure Bed

	Fly through the adventure of your choice as you recline on the world's most comfortable transparent bed.
	3D laser projected downward scan projection.
	Four-speed control: Torporific, Lulling, Agitato, and Berserk.
	Mellophone sound system.
	Taste and smell options.
	Fly into your dreams, choosing from among: Historical Reenactments Outer space disaster missions Childhood ennui and petulance Bakery fantasies Mold spore invasion scenarios AND MANY OTHERS

Details to be announced shortly.

Also, PROXIMUS BERTSCHULDER LTD is happy to announce an exciting new pilot project which may lead to the nationwide establishment of the Proximus Bertschulder ONSEST network.

Perhaps, in the not-to-distant future, your community will have a Proximus Berschulder Ltd. ONSEST (On-The-Spot Emergency Surgery Team) van cruising through your neighborhood, with trained specialists leaping into the street and performing all sorts of surgeries (both critical and optional) as they see fit.

Just think, you could be walking into your place of business, or even out strolling with your dog, and, WOW!, just like that!, your trick elbow, failing kidney, protruding rib, or whatever, is fixed, right on the spot, in a nonce!

All this will be done at no expense to the off-the-cuff patient and at little or no expense to the taxpayer.

These vans will be equipped with the latest satellite driven scalpel manipulators, barnacle-free hubcaps, and cortex replacement kits.

For your ease of identification, ONSEST personnel will wear distinctive gray parkas and blue and white porcelain helmets.

We'll keep you informed.

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